Averting Aversion
Over the new year I served a meditation course in the wilds of northern Illinois, just south of the border. The course was 10 full days long. I was not a sitter for whom the course is designed. I worked as a volunteer on the support staff for the sitters so that they need only work on their meditation. I did some sitting as well, myself.
The sitters sit for 10-12 hours a day for 10 days. As a server, I sat 4-6 hours a day and worked in the kitchen another 6-8 hours. Sitting means sitting, doing a form of analytical meditation in which one focuses one's awareness on bodily sensation as well as attempting to maintain a mind free from attachment or aversion to those sensations, to emotional responses to those sensations, and to distractions from concentration.
I have returned to this other world, the real world, in which people are not paying close attention to their minds nor to their reactions to the people and world around them. It is hard to avoid feeling a bit of anger, sadness, and disappointment about the state of the world out here.
I write this post to mark the realization that this the task ahead of me: to let go of my strong aversion for what I often consider to be world lost to greed, hate, craving, and stupidity.
The aim of the retreat and the technique I practiced was not to bliss out and escape this mess. It is to develop and equanimity towards the mess. The mess is bad enough itself, it doesn't need me to go hating it. This equanimity, as well as a good dose of compassion, is the balm that will heal and transform my reactions to the world into action. Rather than hating the world which does it no good and does me worse, I am charged with pausing, putting the brakes on my aversion, and letting the world (and myself) simply be as it is. Then, with the peace of equanimity, I can act with compassion and intention in the world.
Any thoughts on what to do?
The sitters sit for 10-12 hours a day for 10 days. As a server, I sat 4-6 hours a day and worked in the kitchen another 6-8 hours. Sitting means sitting, doing a form of analytical meditation in which one focuses one's awareness on bodily sensation as well as attempting to maintain a mind free from attachment or aversion to those sensations, to emotional responses to those sensations, and to distractions from concentration.
I have returned to this other world, the real world, in which people are not paying close attention to their minds nor to their reactions to the people and world around them. It is hard to avoid feeling a bit of anger, sadness, and disappointment about the state of the world out here.
I write this post to mark the realization that this the task ahead of me: to let go of my strong aversion for what I often consider to be world lost to greed, hate, craving, and stupidity.
The aim of the retreat and the technique I practiced was not to bliss out and escape this mess. It is to develop and equanimity towards the mess. The mess is bad enough itself, it doesn't need me to go hating it. This equanimity, as well as a good dose of compassion, is the balm that will heal and transform my reactions to the world into action. Rather than hating the world which does it no good and does me worse, I am charged with pausing, putting the brakes on my aversion, and letting the world (and myself) simply be as it is. Then, with the peace of equanimity, I can act with compassion and intention in the world.
Any thoughts on what to do?
posted by Breathing at 12:53 PM
11 Comments:
Best wishes! I have been trying to learn patience (mostly with myself, but also with others) for the past few years. I definitely feel that I have become more patient, but it takes a lot of time and effort.
I know that you know even more about deep breaths than I do, so my only suggestion is to remember that there are always many options and reasons for action. The problem that I often got into was thinking that someone was being stupid or hateful, and then learning that their reasoning (while different from mine) was good intentioned.
That's a good point. What do we do with the hidden intentions of others. Only in ideal circumstances do we get to know why others do what they do. In most instances, like the dystopic world we live in, either the communication of intention is absent or reflexivity about intention is absent. In both cases we will not know what another intends.
What about empathy? Can we feel another's intention in their action?
It is possible to see other's hidden intentions
even in the noisy "real" world of much distraction.
In fact, only when I see the real motivation behind
a person's action, I can really understand him.
That's the hard part of being a KM. :-)
The first thing one has to do is to see others'
perspective is to give up one's own perspective.
Then one starts to see patterns in others.
Often times, other's intention is vague and hard
to catch even for themselves. There is much
work to do to be able to evaluate the self objectively.
Back to aversion. The only way to overcome them
is to stand in the midst of them and stay equanimous.
Usually, what we dislike in others is a reflection of
what we do not want to face in ourselves too.
What that ten day of service taught me is to stand
in the middle of my negativity and watch them fade
away. Sitting is not a hiding place from the aversion.
In fact there is no place to hide. There is no "outside"
really beacause aversion shows up as pain in the
meditation and the best I can do is to stay with them
and let them pass away. The ablility of seeing the
pain in ourselves to me is the very source of compassion
--- after all, we all suffer.
sounds like you have all the words right. the truth i find is when i practice in life. that's the real test - that's where it is or is not. and were all learning-all of us. the state of a people (family, community, nation, world, whatever) begins with the individual. just as we know ourselves to waver, we can allow openness and flexibility in our perceptions about others. truth is we can only give to the world what we are inside manifest. we all hurt, we all love. peace be
".... attempting to maintain a mind free from attachment or aversion to those sensations,"
what then are you supposed to do - neither attach to nor avoid those sensations - instead do what with your bodily sensations and emotional responses to?
the bodily sensations come and go. so do the emotional packets that are often tied to them. there is not much you can do about them. what we tend to do, is obcess(sp?) over them and try to hold on to them if they are nice (we like nice things) and try to run from them or push them away if they are not nice (we don't like not nice things). while we may try to preserve or reject these feelings (in the dual sense), we can't really do either. they will come. if we attach to them or avert from them, however, we reify them and plant them anew to arise again later. if we don't, and this is the hard part, the reason we practice, then they exhaust themselves and don't bother us again. so it is said, and so, i think, it goes.
iabtolzd: the apparent importance/absurdity of pronoucement
This is the part that always confused me... why should we not want to plant and renew the good things?
I completely agree with YD though that what we dislike in others is often a reflection of what we dislike in ourselves. My most vehement aversion is to people who remind me of what I don't like in myself. So, is it me that I am hiding from, having an aversion to and me that sitting would force me to confront and let go of?
As for empathy, I've learned that some people's perspectives are so different from mine (particularly what is "considerate") that I am refraining from trying to empathize. Instead, I ask and listen. Is empathy an illusion without communication?
Great dialogue by the way!
to address the original post... you've more or less stated what you should do, and i think it's definitely the thing to do: genuinely accept that hatred, anger, impatience are not ever going to be productive or good. when i act out of anger i ask myself, 'do you feel better now? is this helping you, or anyone ?' then i laugh at myself and try to just let it go and not get angry at myself, which is just more of the same. sometimes it's easier said than done, but it's the best method i've got right now.
the well-intentioned but deeply misguided path of trying to change other people and show them where they're wrong is responsible for lots of atrocities in history, from the crusades to the taleban. lord knows we don't need any more of that. but it's true that this leaves us wanting for a path that is both effective and positive. it seems like a one-or-the-other situation most of the time; we can't change others, we're making things worse if we actively try, so what to do? this is where skillful means comes in, and this is why it's so difficult, especially for those of us who are living in the world... the doctor metaphor is relevant here; strictly speaking, if we want to walk this path we should all go into retreat for a couple of years and only come and deal with the world when we're ready. since we can't really do that, we have to sort of take it as it comes, keep the motivations pure, try to act without attachment, aversion, ignorance. in that sense, there's no 'what to do'; we act naturally with the right motivation, and then we'll do what's necessary. ideal, yes, but we can approach it, and that's really the best we can do, i think.
In the off-chance that you still check this thread of comments, I have a question for you. I know you're not the least bit Christian, but reading your post made me think of something that you might know a thing or two about. This is so-called "Christ Consciousness." Have you heard of it and, if so, what can you tell me about it? I've got my reasons for asking...
It is not an off chance, friend. This is one of the more exciting discussions that have happened here. Welcome.
Hmm. Christ conscisousness. I can say that I have heard of it, but I don't know much. A google search reveals a couple of new age (not a derogatory term) web pages that range in treatment of the term. It appears to indicate a universal mind of some sort that Jesus accessed.
It sounds a lot like the Krishna consciousess proposed by a group called ISKCON (International Society for Krshna Consciousness). They are also know as the Hare Krishnas.
Sorry I can't offer more. Would you drop some knowledge on us, B?
a website:
http://cconsciousness.narod.ru/
Dan the goat, right on. I constantly struggle with my incapacity to change even one person, let alone an entire group. Chris, Casey's The Fate of Place has a chapter titled Avoiding the Void. You may be interested.
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