Pain: Killing a Dream

I just sent an email to the Geography Department at the University of British Columbia. It said, "No thanks. I do not want to move to one of the most beautiful places on earth and study at one of the best geography departments on earth." I am a bit nauseous.

It is not as monolithic as I make it sound. There was a long process of discernment that birthed that painful child in my mind. Part of that discernment was the realization that I should go to the university that will best serve my intellectual project. I didn't (and still don't) believe that UBC was/is that university.

The pain arises from the long process of fetishizing the northwest, Canada, Vancouver, UBC Geography, and the west coast. No, the pain arises from cutting that fetishization dead.

My temporal happiness and aspirations now officially weigh less in my life than my intellectual (and maybe my spiritual) aspirations.

Yikes.

The Ides

If you had forgotten, this is about the time when Julius Caesar's Senate and friends jacked him. And by jacked him, I mean stabbed him. A lot. Recalling this reminds me of a few things:

-Cferrin5's birthday was yesterday
-Age
-Ambition kills
-One's friends will sometimes jack one
-Death
-Revolution is afoot
-Impermanence
-If everyone takes one shot,
there will be a bloody pulp on the floor
-This approach to murder disperses guilt across many,
thereby absolving all
-New College
-Vision
-March is one of my favorite months based on
1)Racine's micro-climate
2)Sweet first kisses on foggy shores
-I have about a month to finish my thesis
-Wisdom
-Peace

Long Days, Weeks

Last week was long, intense, exciting. The lightning over Lake Mendota portends another week of electrically driven flowing. I will be preparing the second draft of my thesis and continuing to agonize over my options for a PhD program. Please hold me well in your thoughts.

Katrina Warning for Bush Substantiated by AP Video

Confidential video acquired by AP shows Bush being briefed on Katrina with strong warnings that the levees could be breached. After the fact, Bush says, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

Link to BBC story that may not be stable is here.